


Horns in a Tangle

by Decepticrazy



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 05:46:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17482352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decepticrazy/pseuds/Decepticrazy
Summary: Drabble rescued from tumblr. Not really edited.





	Horns in a Tangle

It was Christmas time on Earth, the most wonderful time of year for all humans. Sharing in the tradition, the Autobots had happily traded gifts with their smaller, human friends, treated with fine cloths and oils for the most part. As the leader of the Autobots, Bumblebee had received a most... special gift.

 

“It's too fragging small!” He growled, struggling with the mass of strange fabric, yanking at it haphazardly only to wind up with his arms trapped in the exceptionally uncomfrotable, taccy garment. “Ugh... get it off....” He complained. The 'sweater,' as his human companions had called it, was obsecenely uncomfortable and irritating. Nevertheless, as Cybertron's representative, he would resolve himself to wear the loatheseom object, at least for today. This was, after all, the human's most important festival of the solar calender.

 

“Aww... Bee... come on... it looks good.” The smaller human, Ruseel his name was, smiled up at his friend.

 

Bumblebee reminded himself of the value of maintaining a beneficial relationship with the humans, forcing a smile. “Ah...yeah... yeah it does doesn't it.” His lips twitched in a strained smile but luckily the human didn't catch on. “I'm kinda tired though...gonna take a break...”

 

Bee stalked off, careful to at least appear in good spirits until he was out of sight, slipping into the masses of decaying wreckage of the junkyard, only to circumvent the others entirely and sneak out of the base. He wanted to catch his breath, to cool his head and get a break from the constant chaos that was life here on Earth. Just an hour.... what could go wrong?

 

 

 

 

It turned out that plenty had gone wrong in that short stint of time. Bumblebee had been caught in an ambush, Steeljaw and Thunderhoof getting the better of him, takign advanatage of his distracted state to 'pull the rug out from underneath him,' so to speak. The pair had simply charge, no tactics, no plan in mind. Even so it had been enough. Distracted as Bumblebee was, he stumbled back and barely managed to dodge the destructive force of Thunderhoof's antlers in time, feeling the ruish of air in his plating, the warmth in his circuits as he skirted around death for the umpteenth time in his life cycle.

 

A sudden tug on his plating however, caught Bumblebee off guard, launching him into the air as the outer prongs of Thunderhoof's antlers caught on his taccy christmas gift.

 

“Primus' sake...” Was all Bee could think as he found himself flung up into the air, carried along in Thunderhoof's tirade, his gaudy sweater bringing him along for the ride. Thunderhoof had managed to snag his antlers in the thick, wooly garment, flinging Bumblebee into the air, the poor mech shriekign in shock until Thunderhoof finally stopped.

 

“Ahhh! St-stooooop! Gonna...gonna... gonna..” Bee was jostled this way and that, the warrior that dragged him along for the ride taking some time to slow in his stride, finally noticing the hefty burden on his frame, the pale looking Autobot dangling fro his antlers.

 

“Eyoooo... wat are youz doin there! Get offa me!” Thunderhoof tossed his helm left to right, only succeeding in giving himself a terrible crick in his neck. “Eyoooo... this aint funny y'hear?” The frustrated Con threw his frame around, trying desperately to dislodge the increasingly pale Autobot attached to him.

 

“Thund-er...hf- upppp-ohh...Primus....stooooooop! I'm gonna....”

 

Unfortunately the Con didn't listen, set on tossing the pesky Autobot off of him, freezing when he heard the sick gurgle of a tank, muttering out loud. “Oh no... no no no no nooooo you... what are youz doin! Nono get offa me! You-aaaaaah.... fraggin.... great.”

 

Bumblebee heaved a heavy sigh, reeling from the forceful purge and looking up, the blistering heat of embarassment leaving his faceplates a dark blue. “I-I warned you!” Despite his words the Autobot only sounded wounded, distressed even. He struggled against the Decepticon's antlers, trying in vain to tug himself free. “Oh come on!This... this is ridiculous...” He was moist with condensation, frame heating up in shame. This was not how he imagined taking down the Cons, nor even facing them. He just wanted to crawl back onto his recharge slab and forget. This whole day had been nothing but a disaster.

 

“Auuugh... Autobot... geez... I can't believe you jus'... you know wat? Nevah' mind... just... get off...”

 

“I- 'm trying...” Bumblebee stuttered quietly. It's not as if he was joking! The last thing he wanted to do after purging his tanks on another mech was stand about feeling guilty about it! He wanted to disappear. “I- uh...” Despite the fact that they were enemies it was hard not to feel guilty about it. “M' sorry bout that...” His faceplates burned at the admission. Primus, just kill him now. He caught the brief snicker of Steeljaw off to the side, apparently thoroughly entertained by the whole event. “I can't... m' gonna need some help...”

 

Thunderhoof groaned, tugging at the other mech forcefully.

 

“Stop! Stop, please... this this garment... it's a gift... please? I won't fight... maybe we can even make a trade. I'm in no mood to fight... not after that...” Bee stared at the groudn when he could, his helm tugged this way and that from time to time as Thunderhoof thrashed and tried to free himself.

 

“Eh... suit yerself mech.... Steeljaw... little help?” The wolf-like transformer finally moved from his place, sauntering over to the commotion with a smirk on his faceplates.

 

“Oh....? But you seemed to have everythign under control here.... maybe I should simply return to base... let you two lovebirds... sort it out.”

 

Steeljaw's frame flared in anger, the mech whirling, bringing a dangling and hicupping Autobot with him and he whirled on Steeljaw. “Yer gonna help me... or so fraggin helm ME, I will put YOU up there and make you my new hood ornament! 'Issat clear?”

 

Steeljaw bit back the smirk that threatened to appear on his faceplates. It was impossible to ignore the helplessly dangling Autobot, Thunderhoof's threat hopelessly undermined by the ridiculous sitution. “Mmm... yes... I... I *snicker* I suppose I can help.”

 

The thoroughly amused mech approched the pair, tilting his helm when he finally got close to Bumblebee. “You really are quite ridiculous... you know that? At any rate... suppose I better get you off of there...”

 

Steeljaw grumbled as he set to work, ushering Thunderhoof to sit down in a nearby patch of grass, poickingthe dangling, helpless Autobot free strand by strand and finally relieving Thunderhoof of his burden. “Ah.... there... all better.”

 

Thunderhoof sighed in relief. “Eyooo... much... mmm...better. Ey' Autobot. Where you think you goin huh? Wat wassat about a... hm... arrangement?”

 

Bumblebee stopped dead in his tracks, hoping against hope that the ridiculous scene would afford him a chance to escape. Unfortunately, the Decepticons were not as stupid as they'd looked, noticing the first move Bumblebee made and calling the mech out on it immediately.

 

“I uh... was going to get us some drinks? Figured you'd be thristy after that uh...workout.”

 

Thunderhoof sent him a flat glare. “Yeah. Ha ha. Anyways.... you gonna give us something worthwhile or are things gonna have ta'.... get interestin...”

 

Bumbelbee swallowed, a habit he'd picked up from his human acquaintences. He had to give the cons something worth their time so they didn't just scrap him right here and now. Quickly, the Autobot wracked his meta for ideas, for offers that would get him out of the woods but also not wound their cause beyond redempton. Finally, an idea came to him.

 

“I.. I didn't want to do this but...” Bumbelbee furrowed his brows and looked to Steeljaw and Thunderhoof in concern. “But... I did promise... a deal's a deal. I'll hand it over. The weapon.”

 

“Weapon?” Thunderhoof narrowed his optics. “Watcha talkin bout?”

 

Bumblebee wrapped his servos defensively around his jumper, hugging the cartoon snowmen plastered across the garment tight. “This armour... it's specially designed to repel almost any attacks... why do you think I was so desperate to keep it intact? It doesn't look much but... it's quite powerful....” Bumblebee hugged himself harder, making the wooly jumper all the more enticing to his enemy, simply by how covetously he guarded it.

 

“Ey... I don't believe that... but... then again... youz did hang onta it pretty hard... hm... maybe...”

 

~

 

It was fairly simple from there. Thunderhoof had bought the bluff, graciously letting Bumblebee go in return for the thick, woolen jumper, clad in reindeer and snowmen. It was no small miracle that he managed to get it over his head... his antlers proving to be a massive challenge. Finally, after almost an hour of struggling, Bumblebee long gone by then, the Decepticon had managed to get the thing on, instantly regretting his decision.

 

“Frag... this thing is itchy!” He started to scratch himself, clawing at tormented seams. “Where'd that runt go anyways?”

 

Finally, Thunderhoofd got a chance to see Steeljaw;s face, the Decepticon rolling on his back, stifling his laughter with a servo clamped firmly in his intake,biting down on it hard. Tears were streaming from his intakes, light snickering sounds making it past his lips.

 

“Eyo.... wats the big idea?”

 

Steeljaw couldn't hold himself back any more, burting into laughter. “You! Ahahaa.... you... are hopeless.... you should see yourself! Mystical protection barrier... I can't.. can't BELIEVE you fell for that! Ohhh it's precious...” The Decepticon rolled around, helplessly lost in his own fits of laughter.

 

Thunderhoof glared, amrour plating flaring, his own anger rising. “What do youz mean?” finally, he stamped over to a nearby lake, catching sight of himself. It had been a lot more difficult to see before, the forest dark, devoid of light. Now, however, Thunderhoof was treated to the sight of himself, decked out in yule tide finery, Christmas jumper, thick and wooly, decorated in gaudy Christmas patterns. He looked ridiculous.

 

“Eyo.... why didn't... didn't ya tell me...”

 

“And risk ruining the fun? Never!” Steeljaw clutched his belly as he laughed, Thunderhoof blushing, glaring angrily. It all seemed so obvious now. The Autobot had tricked him. This was no mystical armour of Prmius...no... it was just a ridiculous Earth trinket... and now it was trapped aroudn his fragging body. Worse... it itched terribly!

 

“Ya ok... big funny... ha ha. Now help me get this fragging thing off will ya!” Thunderhoof blurted out.

Thankfully, Steeljaw obliged, the pair locked in fierce battle as they tried and tried to get the damned garment free, tangling the mess of strings all over Thunderhoof's antlers, aggravating the Decepticon to no end. “Aghh! You sure this isn't... isn't some sorta torture device! Fragging thing itches like the pit! Eyo... s' hot too!”

 

Steeljaw just laughed and gave the repulsive garment another firm tug, finally freeing it from Thunderhoof's chassis, the ridiculous thing draped over the moose-former's antlers in a particularly hilarious fashion. Steeljaw smirked. Then he laughed. Then the fragging dumb moose decided to take his anger out and chase Steeljaw half way back to base. The Decepticon regretted nothing, laughing hysterically the whole way back.


End file.
